Drop the Eva Mendez act- we both know she is too old for you. Think about it- you and me- not just you and me right now. You and me forever- kids and shit. If you were with me, no one on the streets would even recognize you. I will call you "Steve"- you can call me, well, whatever you want. We could ride the subway uptown, downtown, any town. We could buy a townhouse in Brooklyn and I could decorate it with my fabulous interior design taste, you could decorate it with your self. We could have one boy (spitting image of you, of course) and one girl (a nice combination of us both). When you are on location, I will travel with you to London and Paris and tell you how wonderful you are between takes. At night (oh at night!) you can put on your navy suit from "Ides of March" and we can practice your lines- how ever many times it takes to get them right (or just for fun if we must!) In the morning, I will prepare for you a healthy breakfast to help you keep those oh so perfect abdominals. After a long day in the the drivers seat- or whatever that day may bring- I will massage your sore muscles; no, you devil- your back muscles!